Have fun …escape the pit of no thoughts !

I have stopped troubling my brain for minor details which relate to “others” & to hit it more specifically people, places and things. Without distinguishing between any, I ignore all (though i never ignore animated beings…there is a contradiction here..)
I wish to call you dead if you can’t have fun !!!!!!
If you keep worrying ‘bout your mortgages you sure will die way before god can will it . No…. it’s not funny! Do you realize how long its been since you decided to go get yourself a life …. For generations we think that we have grown up.
Well Grownups! You see the generation standing inline behind you , wishing to get into your shoes , more appropriately vying to take your place , believes that there is more fun in being “serious” than have careless worry free life .”
What a SERIOUS thought….i guess having fun is some kind of taboo. Although “fun” itself is pretty subjective. With so many “ifs” & “buts” doing the round for us in this vast circle of life ,we sure can’t keep track of every possible detail ,so I abandon the possibility of answering your question relating to the subjectivity of “fun” …call it anything ...but don’t call it off , just like I never did. .......................So the underlining thought is to “Have fun…”
In my short & sweet journey of a little over twenty four years I have come to terms with myself and a quaint trait called Pride. I never parted ways with my "pride" and I never will, because unless you think highly of yourself (which in turn states your state of mind) you can forget all ‘bout enjoying what’s happening in and around you .Thus to escape gloom take admission in the class of "Pride ." But be clear because there is a very thin line drawn between pride and arrogance. So beware and be not mistaken to fall into the pit of gloomy arrogance which is substantially easy. That’s why I managed to convince myself that I won’t fall into its lap , so to counter attack it I decided to have FUN, ….. I thought to have fun while I am teaching ( since these days I am handling the teacher in me ), and most of all I need to have fun while I am having “fun”…… are you reading me ?

Platform Mania...

Questions are zooming in my mind sitting at the Vashi station. I’m encountering a lot of confusion. There are ladies huddling up to catch the next local. Teenagers walk past in the swankiest of clothes, the baggy jeans the abstract color blazing shoes; it indeed is a jarring sight.
At the Mumbai local railway station there is never an end to the activities that rocket around. If any one wishes to stop it, he is certainly praying for the impossible.
Believe me when I say so but being only two years old in Mumbai has taught me how to juggle through the confusion. It’s like ducking past fire balls & ditching every single one of them.
People may call the city rude but they do not deny knowing it as a candid place. The candidness behind the sarcastic words is misconstrued with rudeness; never will you encounter such a frank combination of the two. Squeezing my way through the zillion souls swimming in the tiny train compartments that house them, doesn’t thrill me very much but it indeed is one obligation that every “local (train)” loyalist needs to repeat day after day. If you fail to perish in a year in this crazed land, trust me sweets you can survive a place in hell too!!
The real roasting begins in Mumbai. It is the land that chickens your soul or makes you bold enough to behold your breath and squash the evil eye right under your foot.
The way to be in this land of extremes is the way to push in your tears back to where they came from and rear to run ahead of yourself.

Wedding bells

The wedding bells are jingling for someone. Hard to believe that Pooja has finally got to shuttle between homes. The untapped sense of joy is unfathomable. Do I need to even put it on paper that I am very happy for her? Her life is on the brink of a change, and a change which is so surmountable that neither she nor any one of us will be fit to comment on. To say that I wish her well would seem like a formality.….!!!!
Are you still wondering who Pooja is …well Pooja is my first cousin ( my tauji’s only daughter) .Quite determined in her approach to life , the perfect one to nurse the wounds of the one in pain , one who approaches the job at hand very strategically, now that is Pooja for you. To say that I know all about her would be a lie, because I really don’t. Perhaps because of the bitter arguments that the two of us were unnecessarily part of, we lost out on knowing the shape of each other’s heart. And thus never had much to share. She and I lived under the same roof and were even more formal than the people from the corporate. Pooja “the foodie”, Pooja the “chirpy bird”, Pooja the “juke box” that’s what describes her the best. The gym was her best hangout place ….he he he he he.
There is a lot that was left unsaid between her and me. But since her wedding is on the cards I here by proclaim that our mothers may not share the same genes but we do Pooja!! I have every right bestowed by the same genes to hit you on your back, to pinch you, hug you hard, kiss you innumerable times and finally set you sailing for your journey ahead. I could never have missed out on writing about you. There always has been a line of formality amongst the two of us which still hasn’t melted , irrespective of your thoughts towards me , I promise you a wedding gift that only a few will offer. I promise to be behind you when you turn the pages of time, I promise to always be only a call away when you need a helping hand. You are my cousin, and you are the only sister I have ever known Pooja. I don’t wish any thing from your side but I wish you a flourishing future!!
I almost jumped out of my seat when the news of your marriage was broken to me!! Although I know that I might not have a grand role to play in your life but I shall still doubly rejoice at this juncture of your life.
Since your red letter day is ahead I wish to congratulate you and every one from “our” family. My feelings towards you have changed because honestly “change” changes everyone. These words are my only means of letting you know my most genuine thoughts.
If I say that I care it simply mean that “I do”

A Tribute To BOZO, My Brother.......

A decade comes to an end on the eve of my dad’s birth day…I don’t know whether to celebrate the 53rd birthday of my father or mourn the loss of my brother bozo…..my beautiful eleven and a half year old Alsatian who passed and abandoned me this morning!
Born on a wintry night on 10 December 1997, (I was in the seventh standard..) he was the most arrogant pup on earth always snarling always restless, bossing around as if he was the king ….he sure was brought up by all of us like one .
To the world he was a dog, a very dangerously handsome dog who was ferocious beyond words. Even the milk man would dread stepping in for fear of his flesh being ripped apart needless to mention his “dhoti” flying of in tatters with his full consent, same was true for the post man , the maid, perfect strangers and so forth. Intelligent beyond the word itself, I can discuss endless chronicles of Bozo. The word “notorious” was synonymous with him.
He being an animal stood by our family through thick and thin. In his own subtle way he has nurtured each one from my family, in a way I can go on to the depth of saying that he was the binding factor between all members.
“Bozo you have left behind you a legacy of love beyond understanding”. I don’t want to disrespect all that he has done for me by crying on his departure, although I wish to cry aloud and trust me I still am although silently……………
“God can I have him back?”
My whole self is ailing with pain , but is there anyone who can comprehend my grief? I guess not …all that the world can do is to laugh at this thought, but I am not in a state to explain myself. These words are an expression of the anguish which is embedded in the heart of my family, for it is a moment of extraordinary poignancy for each of us.
The cycle of time never reverts but memories are treasures which can never be eroded by time. I shall secure Bozo from the eye of time and keep him safe in my memories lest I forget which is next to impossible. He has passed on the baton to me of keeping the family tied together and I shall do so because I choose his love.
With trembling hands I am typing this and thus it takes me a few hard ruthless seconds to say that “Bozo was….” and not “Bozo is……”.
His Death is a reminder by that supreme being that we all are mere travelers on our way to the land of no return and none are destined to meet after one encounter unless so willed by the former. It sure is indeed very hard but I am being bound to think that I should celebrate the life of this legendary being. Certainly he was more than just a dog, for me he was my brother, for was my mother he was her child, for my father he was his elder son and the most loyal confidante to my “tauji” (papa’s elder brother). A friend to pooja (my cousin), we each had our own defined relation with “him”.
This day marks the closure of a chapter, the end to a bygone era. I could not bid adieu to him as I was miles and miles away from him. He breathed his last on the fateful morning of 24thFebruary 2009 and thus he shall sleep in peace never to roar again like a lion.
Now that the lion is sent back to his den, to where he came from, however god made me a promise that I shall meet Bozo, in a different world with a different name and identity but this time without the pangs of separation.
Bozo shall be loved and missed forever by all of us. His absence will pinch me for years to come. No one and nobody can take his place ever in my life. I never realized he would be gone so soon without a trace, without an indication. Days will go by but he shall be sealed in not just mine but “our” memories with his magnanimous persona.
A word to the one who is reading this piece, “If you have the goodness of love in your heart pour it out because the next moment could be your last”. Have no ego because the word “life” itself doesn’t last very long. Cheer even in sorrow for you’re alive to experience it because every breath in your body is worth more than a million dollars.
Bozo’s loss is evident but his teachings shall be reflected from how I will live my life from now onwards and that shall be my tribute to him. He rests next to the Ganges which is the abode of the saints. That is where his last rites were performed. May he sleep well eternally without a care in the world and may no one disturb him.
Sweet dreams my dear brother bozo ………I will miss you!!!!

Racing through distractions

So many faces, so many smiles…I am drawn to so much around that I loose track of what I am suppose to be doing.
At times I promise my self that I won’t budge, but very often I let the wild horses of my mind race through people places and things. Soon I realize that the mind camouflages so much, all can’t be held in the fist. Often a friend of mine would chide me saying, “Vijeya concentrate! Don’t look around “….well all this was of no avail because I still would …..Hahaahaa
I have understood over a period of time that it was not distraction , it was not having a wavering mind …more than anything else it was my interest in all earthly beings that made me drift all the while (usually study hours were one time that I would genuinely take to all and sundry …heheh)
Even though I have grown, I’m still as playful in thoughts as a kitten. What I am today is because of my so called “distractions”. I have seen, I have known, I have observed even when I was not suppose to. I have been a precocious child (read between the lines) if I may say so, but all said and done I sure do have no regrets.
What I’m most glad about is that I have never really missed out on life. If I was to be asked whether I love people my answer would be in the affirmative. If I shut my eyes all I can see is a sea of people. These images swim around perennially. Taking a dip in them is what I do best , honestly it is my best escape. I can even go on to the extent of proclaiming that my restlessness is my sole muse.
Let me float a last thought in this regard.... “I guess I am far freer with the way I function than you who is grimacing at the moment.”

This one is for you kartekke!!!!!

Let me bow down in shame for being the worst sister on earth. Not even the devil in person can compete with me. Throughout my brother’s childhood I was always missing . I never realized what it meant to have shared the same womb until now. Now that I am miles and miles afar from his radiant presence I some how miss him & yes I miss him dearly. I cannot define this but yes I love my brother and I love him very dearly. Some times I wake up in the night & long to see him, that glowing face, his bushy hair, his constant denial for addressing me by “Didi”, but the wheels of time are irrevocable …..Oh how I wish to revert to him. On those sun soaked afternoons I miss beating him up …hehehhee…I use to torture him terribly, but have no sympathies with him please!! He was a little devil himself. There were times when the two of us fought bitterly especially when he secured low grades in his exams (I certainly had double standards, low grades in my case were never an issue …I am stifling a smile as I pen this fact down :) )

Come to think of you kartekke …my little brother is not little any more.
Cheers to you …and I would confess something that I never have said earlier……….here I go
I think of you my dearest “dear bro” now & forever
You are the light of my life
You are the coolness in the wind
You are my muse and the rhyme
You are the pulse in my veins
You are the thoughts in my memory
You are the vision in my eyes
You are the future of my destiny
You are the depth of my past
You are my foe and you are my shield
You are my guardian and my protector

kartekke I may not call you for weeks , I may not meet for months and this might extend in an undefinable span of time ,but I have sheltered you in the center of my soul and thus you and I can never be far .
We have shared the same womb and unconsciously I left my traces in that abode for you. You have a bit of me. Thus a slight punch of your sister & a slight spunk of erratic in you which is all to me.
I so long to be as pleasant as you, as fine and soothing as you, as good a human being as you.
I so wish to have a morsel of you me in!!!
Even though I am not all that yet I am lucky to have the tag of being your kin.
Love you loads & miss you like bonkers …wish you luck in heaps ………..your‘s Vijeya !!!!!

My stints with my shadow

Look around and you will discover a maze of shadows fluttering about mischievously. Try to chase one and it flicks like a butterfly. The “catch me if you can” game it plays is statically collected in the midst of the ever glowing sun , exuding its exuberance with the humility of the king. But the opaque being refuses to be moved by the sheen created around it, after all the world of shadows though stems from the place of light yet submerges into the dark, fainting & sinking only for its resurrection with the break of the dawn. All is bright around it yet there is no botheration, for eons it has played the same old trick. So bewildered it has left me that I shall chase it till the end of my days. I shall be behind it till the time I rein supreme !!!
O kith of darkness, you shall remain my reminder for my unconquered quest !!!!!!!!

THE AFTER THOUGHT

THE AFTER THOUGHT
Life comes a full circle in a span of time that supersedes your own comprehension of the former.When you look out of the window of time you come across faces that you left behind. One feels like commanding time & getting ones wishes across. To ones sad amazement its unequivocally never meant to happen.
My idea was not to muddle up the human mind about the complexities of time but to be candid; it’s a brazen fact that should have been unleashed long ago. Christening your desires one by one seems the soul solution ……..but is it?
Readers may find me a cynic being whose social presence was never requited by her counterparts & thus what followed up was a flow of heavy words that began to pitch for on their own , with a certain sense of obliqueness that should seem like a block to some.
The idea behind penning down my thoughts has in actuality no thought behind it!! Some times the mind just wants to spray abnormalities before a world, which always seems to be in deep slumber and snores without a care. The essence of all that goes around the world is a thought, and the thought behind the thought is a thought.

Make way while ethics shine !!!!!!!

Make way while ethics shine !!!!!!!

Tender minds can be carved in the manner that we want them to bloom like. Ethics can set forth the pace of the way a child thinks.
It is said “CHILD IS THE FATHER OF MAN”
Having said the above there is not much left to be said. It is crystal clear to the wise that no amount of effort made in the course of maturity will bear fruits in the latter stages, rather it is during the growing years that is before the world takes the reigns of the child that one is to be introduced to the alley where one tip toes while falling, one trips but rises in an instant. It is this brief stroll that he takes that decides his destiny as a man of values.
Thus one may genuinely say that ethics can be taught but at the primary level where a child has no distinction of gender and no distinction of good and bad. Without the separation of the two one can sail smoothly.
The debate among today’s generation is whether ethics be taught or not. it is really hard to take a stand. I am not trying to be neutral but to my amazement it cannot be taught yet it can be touched upon with ease. When I say that it cannot be taught I am putting my foot down by saying that morally brigading a person at latter stages of life is just not proper in terms of practice. But at the same time one can by no means sit still and let an alien force take to things. It is important to lay the foundation for the execution of moral practices. Thus I say that it is at the primary level that a child should be made aware of the definition of values. Only with a tight grip at the infancy can in the latter stages of the life a man be proclaimed to be one with a reasonably good sense of judgment. It is with a rightful sense of judgment that one may decipher or rather distinguish between what is ethically misjudged or morally right. Without the bestowment of this one shall remain dazed in a flimsy situation.
Thus I say that the use of the subject stands nullified if not taught at the primary level.

When u left ….
The cluttering pain that struck my heart left me in a lurch …..I knew I shall miss u …but not to this extent.
Can’t say ‘bout the consistency of the feeling ...but let me confide ...It shows no signs of abating.
I have had friends, and have encountered foes, & some who never were anything. Then there was you..! a frequent “smile struck face” that bore it for as long as I can assume to remember. When u said goodbye you took away a part of me that will never be requited.
We may meet we may not meet, but one thing that stands clear that none shall remain the same after today, for this day marks the beginning of a new era………. and an end, to the two long years that went by …they swept past so quickly yet come to think of it the stealth of time made it seem so sluggish.
I will hold your image as I saw it today in the eye of my mind forever & ever after, for you may go though a metamorphosis but I shall show no sign of getting you out of the womb of my mind.
You belong to your unpretentious self…..but your soul still peeps out of your eyes. Your soul is locked up in mine...don’t force me to release it coz its not in my power to do so.
Farewell my dear Rains!!!......

From ……….ur Vijeya !!!!

MAN IN THE MIRRIOR

The present moment is one that speaks of murderous lies, blatant and brutal, but we go through belying our frustrations and our anguish by a sheepish smile. We think we've done it! ..................we think we have mastered the art of fooling people.But like the saying goes.....Truth is stranger than fiction.........and indeed it is the truth is....we don't give two hoots to what others think of us. Then the million dollar question is "whom are we trying to fool anyway?"…………………………………………………….. YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW! But what’s the point .......you already know him and that "him" is no one else but YOU!! You simply loathe the sight of this man, yet you stand there with your eyes shut, not willing to face him in the eye. For ages man has been desperately trying to deceive other men. i wonder when will the slate be clean from his side ? Well not until he stands up to the fact that he is his own enemy and he alone is his own friend.Unless we eliminate this constant conflict of which we have fallen prey to, we shall continue to rot in the drains without being positively conscious of our deplorable state.

The bible says," Seek the truth and the truth shall set you free". Then all we need to do is to come out of our closets!!!


Vijeya Walia