A Tribute To BOZO, My Brother.......

A decade comes to an end on the eve of my dad’s birth day…I don’t know whether to celebrate the 53rd birthday of my father or mourn the loss of my brother bozo…..my beautiful eleven and a half year old Alsatian who passed and abandoned me this morning!
Born on a wintry night on 10 December 1997, (I was in the seventh standard..) he was the most arrogant pup on earth always snarling always restless, bossing around as if he was the king ….he sure was brought up by all of us like one .
To the world he was a dog, a very dangerously handsome dog who was ferocious beyond words. Even the milk man would dread stepping in for fear of his flesh being ripped apart needless to mention his “dhoti” flying of in tatters with his full consent, same was true for the post man , the maid, perfect strangers and so forth. Intelligent beyond the word itself, I can discuss endless chronicles of Bozo. The word “notorious” was synonymous with him.
He being an animal stood by our family through thick and thin. In his own subtle way he has nurtured each one from my family, in a way I can go on to the depth of saying that he was the binding factor between all members.
“Bozo you have left behind you a legacy of love beyond understanding”. I don’t want to disrespect all that he has done for me by crying on his departure, although I wish to cry aloud and trust me I still am although silently……………
“God can I have him back?”
My whole self is ailing with pain , but is there anyone who can comprehend my grief? I guess not …all that the world can do is to laugh at this thought, but I am not in a state to explain myself. These words are an expression of the anguish which is embedded in the heart of my family, for it is a moment of extraordinary poignancy for each of us.
The cycle of time never reverts but memories are treasures which can never be eroded by time. I shall secure Bozo from the eye of time and keep him safe in my memories lest I forget which is next to impossible. He has passed on the baton to me of keeping the family tied together and I shall do so because I choose his love.
With trembling hands I am typing this and thus it takes me a few hard ruthless seconds to say that “Bozo was….” and not “Bozo is……”.
His Death is a reminder by that supreme being that we all are mere travelers on our way to the land of no return and none are destined to meet after one encounter unless so willed by the former. It sure is indeed very hard but I am being bound to think that I should celebrate the life of this legendary being. Certainly he was more than just a dog, for me he was my brother, for was my mother he was her child, for my father he was his elder son and the most loyal confidante to my “tauji” (papa’s elder brother). A friend to pooja (my cousin), we each had our own defined relation with “him”.
This day marks the closure of a chapter, the end to a bygone era. I could not bid adieu to him as I was miles and miles away from him. He breathed his last on the fateful morning of 24thFebruary 2009 and thus he shall sleep in peace never to roar again like a lion.
Now that the lion is sent back to his den, to where he came from, however god made me a promise that I shall meet Bozo, in a different world with a different name and identity but this time without the pangs of separation.
Bozo shall be loved and missed forever by all of us. His absence will pinch me for years to come. No one and nobody can take his place ever in my life. I never realized he would be gone so soon without a trace, without an indication. Days will go by but he shall be sealed in not just mine but “our” memories with his magnanimous persona.
A word to the one who is reading this piece, “If you have the goodness of love in your heart pour it out because the next moment could be your last”. Have no ego because the word “life” itself doesn’t last very long. Cheer even in sorrow for you’re alive to experience it because every breath in your body is worth more than a million dollars.
Bozo’s loss is evident but his teachings shall be reflected from how I will live my life from now onwards and that shall be my tribute to him. He rests next to the Ganges which is the abode of the saints. That is where his last rites were performed. May he sleep well eternally without a care in the world and may no one disturb him.
Sweet dreams my dear brother bozo ………I will miss you!!!!

Racing through distractions

So many faces, so many smiles…I am drawn to so much around that I loose track of what I am suppose to be doing.
At times I promise my self that I won’t budge, but very often I let the wild horses of my mind race through people places and things. Soon I realize that the mind camouflages so much, all can’t be held in the fist. Often a friend of mine would chide me saying, “Vijeya concentrate! Don’t look around “….well all this was of no avail because I still would …..Hahaahaa
I have understood over a period of time that it was not distraction , it was not having a wavering mind …more than anything else it was my interest in all earthly beings that made me drift all the while (usually study hours were one time that I would genuinely take to all and sundry …heheh)
Even though I have grown, I’m still as playful in thoughts as a kitten. What I am today is because of my so called “distractions”. I have seen, I have known, I have observed even when I was not suppose to. I have been a precocious child (read between the lines) if I may say so, but all said and done I sure do have no regrets.
What I’m most glad about is that I have never really missed out on life. If I was to be asked whether I love people my answer would be in the affirmative. If I shut my eyes all I can see is a sea of people. These images swim around perennially. Taking a dip in them is what I do best , honestly it is my best escape. I can even go on to the extent of proclaiming that my restlessness is my sole muse.
Let me float a last thought in this regard.... “I guess I am far freer with the way I function than you who is grimacing at the moment.”

This one is for you kartekke!!!!!

Let me bow down in shame for being the worst sister on earth. Not even the devil in person can compete with me. Throughout my brother’s childhood I was always missing . I never realized what it meant to have shared the same womb until now. Now that I am miles and miles afar from his radiant presence I some how miss him & yes I miss him dearly. I cannot define this but yes I love my brother and I love him very dearly. Some times I wake up in the night & long to see him, that glowing face, his bushy hair, his constant denial for addressing me by “Didi”, but the wheels of time are irrevocable …..Oh how I wish to revert to him. On those sun soaked afternoons I miss beating him up …hehehhee…I use to torture him terribly, but have no sympathies with him please!! He was a little devil himself. There were times when the two of us fought bitterly especially when he secured low grades in his exams (I certainly had double standards, low grades in my case were never an issue …I am stifling a smile as I pen this fact down :) )

Come to think of you kartekke …my little brother is not little any more.
Cheers to you …and I would confess something that I never have said earlier……….here I go
I think of you my dearest “dear bro” now & forever
You are the light of my life
You are the coolness in the wind
You are my muse and the rhyme
You are the pulse in my veins
You are the thoughts in my memory
You are the vision in my eyes
You are the future of my destiny
You are the depth of my past
You are my foe and you are my shield
You are my guardian and my protector

kartekke I may not call you for weeks , I may not meet for months and this might extend in an undefinable span of time ,but I have sheltered you in the center of my soul and thus you and I can never be far .
We have shared the same womb and unconsciously I left my traces in that abode for you. You have a bit of me. Thus a slight punch of your sister & a slight spunk of erratic in you which is all to me.
I so long to be as pleasant as you, as fine and soothing as you, as good a human being as you.
I so wish to have a morsel of you me in!!!
Even though I am not all that yet I am lucky to have the tag of being your kin.
Love you loads & miss you like bonkers …wish you luck in heaps ………..your‘s Vijeya !!!!!

My stints with my shadow

Look around and you will discover a maze of shadows fluttering about mischievously. Try to chase one and it flicks like a butterfly. The “catch me if you can” game it plays is statically collected in the midst of the ever glowing sun , exuding its exuberance with the humility of the king. But the opaque being refuses to be moved by the sheen created around it, after all the world of shadows though stems from the place of light yet submerges into the dark, fainting & sinking only for its resurrection with the break of the dawn. All is bright around it yet there is no botheration, for eons it has played the same old trick. So bewildered it has left me that I shall chase it till the end of my days. I shall be behind it till the time I rein supreme !!!
O kith of darkness, you shall remain my reminder for my unconquered quest !!!!!!!!

THE AFTER THOUGHT

THE AFTER THOUGHT
Life comes a full circle in a span of time that supersedes your own comprehension of the former.When you look out of the window of time you come across faces that you left behind. One feels like commanding time & getting ones wishes across. To ones sad amazement its unequivocally never meant to happen.
My idea was not to muddle up the human mind about the complexities of time but to be candid; it’s a brazen fact that should have been unleashed long ago. Christening your desires one by one seems the soul solution ……..but is it?
Readers may find me a cynic being whose social presence was never requited by her counterparts & thus what followed up was a flow of heavy words that began to pitch for on their own , with a certain sense of obliqueness that should seem like a block to some.
The idea behind penning down my thoughts has in actuality no thought behind it!! Some times the mind just wants to spray abnormalities before a world, which always seems to be in deep slumber and snores without a care. The essence of all that goes around the world is a thought, and the thought behind the thought is a thought.